We manage our condition by living mainly in the reality of the inner world.
We do everything in our power to make the inside and the outside match as much as they possibly can.
The inner world is the world inside the mind where all of the alters typically reside. Not all systems have this and some call it "the headspace."
It can take the shape of anything depending on the individual: a house, an apartment, a city, an island, a forest, even the whole universe. It is as real as your real world is to you, someone who does not have DID. Someone with DID can tell you how the inner world feels, works, is laid out, smells, tastes, the temperature, the time of day, anything if it’s developed enough.
Our system is unique and different to most. The inner world mirrors the outer, but contains so much more.
One other system we know of has an inner world as in-depth as ours, with backstories and alters and such. That's Multiplicity and Me. (Jess, Jamie, Ed, Jake and Ollie.) Their inner world is often influenced by the outer. Their inner selves don't have DID, or know their outer selves exist. When we found this out, we were overjoyed. To hear there's another system with an inner world as real as ours ... even if they don't all live fully in it.
We live in the inner world – when we’re on the inside AND the outside. When an alter is out, in the body, they will see not their surroundings, but where they are in the inner world. When they are saying or doing something they would not be doing on the inner world, they disassociate from it and in their reality it simply has not happened. For example, John is typing this and talking about himself in the third person because though he’s doing it, on the inside he is not. In his reality, he is not doing this.
In our inner world, we do not have DID. We are not a system. We are just people, living in our real world and there are no inner and outer worlds. Just existence. We’re not all in the same place, we can’t just all sit there and communicate. If John for example, who is in England, wants to talk to SD, who is on the planet Simleath in the country of Canala, he either has to visit or call. If SD is busy, he can’t do that. It’s just like the outer world – but it’s on the inside.
The inner world and how we do things is far better than the outer. We have no interest in living only in the outer. We do what we need to to survive in the outer, then dissociate from that. Forget it happens. For the time allocated to doing something in the outer world, it is always accounted for on the inner and fits in with the lives of the people on the inner.
At any given time you could ask what any alter is doing and whoever you’re talking to at the time has the means to take the steps to tell you. Life exists, continues, never ending, just like on the outside. - this is because we are healed from the disordered part of DID.
Everyone in this system has personal pasts and histories and experiences and it’s all as real as if it happened on the outside. If you try to say otherwise, you will be shut out, banned, ignored and disregarded. Because you're a dick, disrespectful and discriminating against individuals with a condition that's stigmatised anyway.
We are not alters. At the same time, whoever is out is not necessarily the host and the others are not their alters. Nobody is anybody’s alters. Everyone is just a person and everything they tell you is real. It is true. It happened. It’s happening. This is how we survive and how we live and we have no interest in changing it. We know our own mind better than anyone could ever wish to know theirs. We can explain absolutely every decision we have ever made in regards to how we live and the state of our mental health and disorders. Just don’t make us. Let us live in peace, the way you would any other group of people that you don’t view as being part of a DID system.
If you’re asking a question about the inner world or someone in the system, try to word it in a way that makes it seem as though you’re just curious about the person's circumstance or friends/family. Not about the whole DID thing.
Just let us live our lives in the way we have always known, and the way 80% of people we've encountered has accepted.
This “system” has up to if not more than 100 alters. We can’t even account for them all. Not everyone knows everyone. There are also people in the inner world who exist but are not alters. Everyone we know and like from the outer world exists in the inner, the same way as they do on the outside.
Names alters give you may not be their real names. Names are changed in the outside world for personal reasons. Do not ask for their real names because in the inner world, you know their real name.
Except Eliza, she goes by Eliza online in the inner world sometimes as a joke. Still do not ask her her real name because on the inside you still know it, to her. Even if you don't actually know on the outside.
Possible questions you may have? Well, right. Oldest human alter is in his 90s besides those who are over 100. Youngest alters ... it's complicated. No one with a non-adult mindset is an alter that can front in this system. There are no "littles." No one age slides. None of that.
No one holds any true/persona;l memories of the trauma the "original" personality experienced as a child - but it did translate into the childhoods of some of the alters as the same kind of thing. Verbal and emotional abuse in childhood. Believe the fuck me though, individuals in this system in the inner world have gone through shit that's much worse. John and Hannah's separation, for example. Mel's death. Victoria's almost-death. When John thought Eliza and Rory were dead. Noble's brief memory loss. Wars. Entire civilisations wiped out. Dozens and dozens of friends and family members lost or left to often horrendous things.
We have lived through things you can't possibly imagine, on the inside as well as the outside. And sadly, we have to talk about the outside quite a lot. Things that never happened within. We still live with trauma from the outside and the inside. But you know what? We're thankful for it. Because without outside trauma, we wouldn't exist. And without inside trauma, we wouldn't be who we are today.
We wouldn't wish this disorder or our outer trauma on anyone. But we're glad we have it. We're better for it.